He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize