he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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