I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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