I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
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I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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