Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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