if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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