He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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