I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
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ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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