Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize