Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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