did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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