She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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