I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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