I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize