i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize