it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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