It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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