I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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