shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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