sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
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Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I supernannyed him into submission
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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