she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
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He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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