i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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