your room smells of hookers.
And success
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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