...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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