My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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