So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize