What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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