I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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