After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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