Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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