just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
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Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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