You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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