I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize