I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize