you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize