He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You are a genius and a whore.
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