Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
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I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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