i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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