The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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