i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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