Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize