I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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