so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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