We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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