Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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