Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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