I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I currently don't understand fingers.
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