Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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