not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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