the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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